» fatshakes | One Dollar Jackpot - 25 Words or Less Competition

If I were to eat these recipes for a week I think I would be about 20kg heavier than when I started. Maybe I could do a ‘Super Recipe Me’ documentary about it.

I won’t, but I could and if I did it would be the best of its kind.

Take these ‘recipes’ for example. You know you’re gonna get fat(ter) with them!

1. Remove ice cream from freezer
2. Scoop ice cream into bowl
3. Spoon ice cream into face

Like it? Pretty simple, like the next one.

1. Chocolate syrup
2. A tall glass of ice cold milk
3. Mix together.
4. Drink.

You might like to drink that or, you might like (prefer) to drink this! It’s a recipe for an icecream-truck-load-of-lard in a glass.

1. 6 tbsp chocolate icecream,
2. 4 tbsp drinking chocolate,
3. 300ml milk,
4. 1 crushed flake.
5. Blender blitz the lot 30 sec
6. 2 glass serve,
7. garnish crushed flake.

I am seriously thinking of making that one… oh man my mouth is watering just thinking about it. But to wash it down, one might take some dinner - you might like to grab a meal and sit in front of the telly, just so you can lard up some more. Here’s what you should eat to compliment your fatshakes.

1. Cook linguine.
2. Saute clove garlic, then dash white wine,
3. Half cube chicken stock, sprinkle oregano,
4. Forty clams, black pepper, packet cream cheese,
5. And handful parmesan.

I’m not sure where I’d get forty clams. I’d have to go overseas I suspect. If I wanted to eat them in Australia, I reckon pippies would do just the trick… and my it would be tasty. Yet it sounds healthy, for some reason I wouldn’t want to be sitting watching Top Gear, I’d rather be at the table ‘tasting’ it rather than eating it.

More likely though, if I were to drink those fatshakes, I’d want a burger too… one that’s build using a bun. Spicy mustard. Hamburger. Sharp cheddar. Fried egg, over easy. Bacon. Lettuce. Tomato. More spicy mustard. Other bun. And beer. Then you know your night would be complete!

Ever had a recipe catch fire? I reckon you might just need a fire extinguisher in your kitchen if you have… and if you’ve got a recipe that catches fire, does it look like this?

• Chicken; thaw
• lemon herb season
• pan fry
• do not under cook
• do not overcook
• class C extinguisher will put out grease fire.

Okay - okay enough with the ’stringing along’ of your so called reading (more like you skipped right down here to check out the winner). Drum/fat roll please!

Congratulations Katrina! Your ‘brownies‘ recipe was - although I’m sure one of the lardiest recipes entered, the best of the weekend. Let’s take a look…

Brownies

• 50g butter, melted
• 1/4 cups sugar
• 1/3 cups flour
• 4 eggs
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 cup cocoa
• Combine. Bake 170C, 50 minutes.

Now I’m true to my word - so I will make the recipe and put it on video for you. I might even get a bunch of the recipes, make them and take photos of them, put them in a nicely designed booklet form for you to download and make yourself. What says you? I’ll need a chorus of ‘yes’ if I’m to get my fat lardo body from the TV to the kitchen so speak up loudly.

Katrina, you might even be able to buy one of these books - for a dollar. I would recommend the brownies, they’re tasty!