» jen | One Dollar Jackpot - 25 Words or Less Competition

I used to think that computer games were a good way to spend my time. And by time I mean life. And by life I mean I had none. But then I realised I was wrong, I realised how crap it is to sit around playing on the computer all day long with no result other than escaping the world I didn’t quite enjoy so much.

That was time I will never get back.

Jen thinks she’d like to turn back time and do something again -

I should have taken a year
Maybe make a few bucks
Or think about my direction -
Coz uni sux.

At least you’re only talking about a year. Brian here thinks that his entire life has been something he would turn back time on. Why Brian what did you do that was so bad?

I would remember to live each day as if it were my last so that way I would have no regrets…

What do you regret most? Was it kissing that girl? Tom seems to think he kissed the wrong one.

Things I’d change in order of importance:
1. Kiss that girl
2. Not say that dumb thing
3. Stick with French

I reckon Tom you could probably apply number 3 to number 1.

If I could turn back time, I’d uncreate the universe, thus preventing the accumulated emotional, physical, relational, and psychological pain of all human history.

It might not be a kiss - it could be something small like THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! However here in Benjamin’s proposal something along the lines of a Doc/Marty conversation. You see if you reverse time to uncreate the universe then you wouldn’t exist any more and you could uncreate the universe. Which to me sounds like an impossibility. Don’t you think?

And speaking of beginnings - where does ‘modern’ start? Tom states that..

I would get rid of modern technology including nuclear power and weapons

Maybe you would get rid of One Dollar Jackpot then Tom? I mean really who are you? Some sort of undermining internet hater? You underminer you. I mean look at all the good stuff we’ve been able to have because of ‘nukelar’ weapons - can anyone say Terminator 2? That’s right - Terminator 2. And don’t you forget it.

Oh look it’s 3pm, I just spent 20minutes writing this when I could have been outside in the sun soaking up some of that vitamin D. Now - Jen is the person who made the dollar today with her winnings. If you had skipped uni you could have spent all day coming up with great entries for competitions and winning them all the time! I say do it. At the very least you would win more than $1.

Enjoy!

One of the most basic forms of humour are dad jokes. Some people call them ‘puns’ but we all know what they really are. I recently got paid for a dad joke. Believe it or not - many companies use them for promotional material they send out. Apparently they get your attention even if you think they suck. The suckier the better? Maybe.

The one I got paid for recently was for Easter. An email went out to 20,000 customers of this store (Brown Box does email marketing you see.) Well - they needed a headline for a picture of a kid and a bunny. “Hoppy Easter” is what I wrote. I was ashamed to take their money (but secretly I love it - my wife thinks I must have kids somewhere else I make so many dad jokes).

So when I received a few today for the competition - I asked myself, ‘Could I use these to make money?’ Probably not - but I’m holding on to them!

Okay here we go - get ready for some REAL comedy.

• How do you make a tissue dance?
  Put a little boogie in it.
• I’m gonna tell you a dad joke.
  About a dad that’s already dead.
  Oops.
  I’m sorry if I remind you of something.
  Ed: Let the reader know, this made absolutely no sense to me.
• Your dad is so stupid that he wrote in ‘the president’ during the last presidential elections.
• (After spilling milk, juice etc.) -’Pour effort!’

And the winner for the day!

Jen - your dad must be a complete comedian! He should get a gold star for this. If he ever says it out loud please give him a handshake for me.

(Whilst driving past a cemetery) - ‘Look kids! There’s the dead centre of town!’

Article 4. No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

Thanks to the UN for this little bit of ‘info’ (Universal Declaration of Human Rights) - sorry but I’m going to have to break it now. And so would you too apparently. Here’s what you said you would do if you had a slave for an hour a day…

• I’d put my feet up and watch him do everything.
• I would send the servant to my husband’s job at the end of the day so he could be home sooner. Crazy Long Hours!
• I’d take them to coffee!
  Or get them a toffee!
  I bet they are tired,
  though my actions could get them fired.
• 1. washing
  2. cooking
  3. cleaning
  4. massage
  5. mowing
  6. dusting
  7. ironing
  8. taxiing
  9. folding
  10. building
  11. deliceing
  12. weeding
  13. reading
  14. homework
  15. etc

That oughta keep em busy
Can I relax now? LOL

I’ve decided the winner today is Jen - she wanted to take them for a coffee, what a nice young lady! By the way, I’m not sure if it’s fair to fire a slave because they have done what you’ve told them to do - but hey that’s oppression for you! Bad luck.

Jen, your dollar is on its way, I’m sure you can spend it wisely. You may even be able to buy something on Facebook for a friend of yours.