» Winner | One Dollar Jackpot - 25 Words or Less Competition

I completely forgot -after the last competition I thought, ‘I could not visit One Dollar Jackpot for 30 days easy’. After two days I realised I was the guy who owns and updates the site so I should probably give you some updates since I promised to!

Oh well - I didn’t last too long.

Kerrie begins our wrap up of what you could go without for 30 days. I think this would be pretty easy for me, given that I’m lactose intolerant and can’t eat the stuff…

chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate!

Wolfie seems to disagree though:

Without Chocolate I Could Survive
I’m sure my body could thrive
Not being able to dive into a box of a chox

Adam has something I think we all aspire to on some level - even if you own your own company you’re not always your own boss.

I could do without work
I could do without bosses
Each month I start another day
And each day I cut my losses

Maybe you could do 30 days without your boss like Mariah’s ‘bosses’.

I could definetly do with out my parents, because they really get on my nerves!!!

That’s too bad Mariah, I hope they’re not as horrible as some I’ve met. Sometimes parents can be bad - but then again kids can be too

I’m going to dare Jen to do the following that she suggests she could do… including anything made in an oven…

Facebook? No.
Diet Coke? 10 days, already proven.
No, I think I could go 30 days
Without an oven.

Johan thinks there’s the slight possibility that this could happen. I’m going to suggest that’s wrong..

Everything.

But the winner for today’s competition is Adam - he’s touched on a nerve that tickles for me and the delivery was just right. Thanks Adam and I hope you enjoy your dollar.

Morally? Monetarily? Maybe it’s talking about people entering the competition… like today. One person with a valid entry.

Rebecca you are the only person to be able to win today! Your prediction of tomorrow’s headline today was :

American Woman Predicts Future
(Now if I could do that,
I’d play the lottery as well as
One Dollar Jackpot
Maybe I’d win both ?)

Congratulations - looks like yours was a self fulfilling prophecy!

I used to think that computer games were a good way to spend my time. And by time I mean life. And by life I mean I had none. But then I realised I was wrong, I realised how crap it is to sit around playing on the computer all day long with no result other than escaping the world I didn’t quite enjoy so much.

That was time I will never get back.

Jen thinks she’d like to turn back time and do something again -

I should have taken a year
Maybe make a few bucks
Or think about my direction -
Coz uni sux.

At least you’re only talking about a year. Brian here thinks that his entire life has been something he would turn back time on. Why Brian what did you do that was so bad?

I would remember to live each day as if it were my last so that way I would have no regrets…

What do you regret most? Was it kissing that girl? Tom seems to think he kissed the wrong one.

Things I’d change in order of importance:
1. Kiss that girl
2. Not say that dumb thing
3. Stick with French

I reckon Tom you could probably apply number 3 to number 1.

If I could turn back time, I’d uncreate the universe, thus preventing the accumulated emotional, physical, relational, and psychological pain of all human history.

It might not be a kiss - it could be something small like THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! However here in Benjamin’s proposal something along the lines of a Doc/Marty conversation. You see if you reverse time to uncreate the universe then you wouldn’t exist any more and you could uncreate the universe. Which to me sounds like an impossibility. Don’t you think?

And speaking of beginnings - where does ‘modern’ start? Tom states that..

I would get rid of modern technology including nuclear power and weapons

Maybe you would get rid of One Dollar Jackpot then Tom? I mean really who are you? Some sort of undermining internet hater? You underminer you. I mean look at all the good stuff we’ve been able to have because of ‘nukelar’ weapons - can anyone say Terminator 2? That’s right - Terminator 2. And don’t you forget it.

Oh look it’s 3pm, I just spent 20minutes writing this when I could have been outside in the sun soaking up some of that vitamin D. Now - Jen is the person who made the dollar today with her winnings. If you had skipped uni you could have spent all day coming up with great entries for competitions and winning them all the time! I say do it. At the very least you would win more than $1.

Enjoy!

I was wrong last week when I said the conference for our country was called 20/20. Apparently it had nothing at all to do with getting your eyes checked for glasses - or vision. Apparently 2020 is the correct title and it’s a date. Who would have thought? I thought 20/20 was a pretty good idea! I think I’ll hold a conference some time called 20/20 - maybe in 12 years or so.

So what’s your big idea to make your country better? I was reading the other day of a company that have made Friday a part of the weekend. That’s right, for just 4 days of work you get 3 days of rest. I’m a big fan of that idea. Their reasoning is that in their area of the web industry, nothing is really urgent on a Friday. If it is urgent for Friday - you can probably wait till Monday to launch it. Apparently they also get as much done in a four day week as a five day week. Maybe I can do that too. Maybe I can do lots of things. I probably won’t though.

So on to your big ideas, well maybe just ideas. I don’t know if they’re big or not.

• Banning of cigarettes. This is the sole reason I hate the city. People smoking everywhere!
• I would run a fascist regime,
  I’d only have yes-men on my team.
  If you disagree then you get executed,
  Strapped in a chair and electrocuted.
• no war, no hatred,
  loving life,
  happy face,
  be good attitude,
  maybe that is good enough
  to make my country better
• To make the world a better place
  dismantle nukes, and set the race-
  s equal in the minds of all
  thus can we reverse the fall
• Fear not
  Fear not
  Fear not
• More trees
  Less cars
  More peas
  Less Mars ^(?)
• Love your neighbour as yourself.

Let me just say from the outset - Fascism reigns on this website. There’s no way you can win without my say so. You agree with me yes?

To those who think we can reverse the fall - good luck Really. Good luck - because in my fascist state of a website, you will find yourself strapped to the chair and soon enough you’ll have fuzzy hair.

More trees
Less cars
More peas
Less Mars

I like the sounds of Byron today though, his poem and word play was quite to my liking, even without an explanation it made much sense. Here’s what Byron says about his little ditty…

peas = peace vs Mars = god of war; also peas > Mars (healthy food over junk food). Cleva huh?

Yes very clever Byron, enjoy your dollar I’m sure you’ll know where to invest it best!

Okay - I am stuck. I’m going to answer your riddles - one at a time - you will see my answers in bold below the riddle… please correct me if I’m wrong! I want to see your answers - not the answers to the one you submitted, but the ones you didn’t do. Let’s see what we can do! Maybe you could reply to people who put an answer in about yours. What do you think?

• Too much for one
  Enough for two
  Nothing at all for three.
  Two bowls of porridge?
• A woman has 7 children and half of them are boys.
  How can this be?
  One has been taking steroids as he was very vain - has now got man boobs and is considered half/half?
• I am staring at a startling string,
  living in sin,
  starting to sing.
  Why?
  More like - what’s a startling string?
• Filled with eyes that cannot see,
  And swords that cannot kill;
  Three years and I shall be,
  Without both and will,
  Enliven another like me.
  A Cactus.
• What happened in 1961 that will not happen again for over 4000 years?
  The year turned upside down will be the same as the year the right way up.
• Decapitate me and all becomes equal. Truncate me and I become second. Cut me front and back and I become two less than I started.
  Seven point five
• The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
  A starfish
• Five men were going to church and it started to rain. The four that ran got wet and the one that stood still stayed dry.
  He wasn’t really standing now was he?

Can you tell I wasn’t trying too hard? Reason being I have to leave really quickly. The winner of today’s competition is a tricky one. The winner of today’s competition is still staring at a startling string. That is… Toby!

Congratulations Toby - enjoy your dollar and I’m going to genuinely try and work out your answer soon. Google may know, but I want to work it out.

If you are into riddles - then try this game. I love it, it’s really hard and I’m sure you would love it too. It’s not much a riddle as much as a tricky game to try and get through.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.One of the most basic forms of humour are dad jokes. Some people call them ‘puns’ but we all know what they really are. I recently got paid for a dad joke. Believe it or not - many companies use them for promotional material they send out. Apparently they get your attention even if you think they suck. The suckier the better? Maybe.

The one I got paid for recently was for Easter. An email went out to 20,000 customers of this store (Brown Box does email marketing you see.) Well - they needed a headline for a picture of a kid and a bunny. “Hoppy Easter” is what I wrote. I was ashamed to take their money (but secretly I love it - my wife thinks I must have kids somewhere else I make so many dad jokes).

So when I received a few today for the competition - I asked myself, ‘Could I use these to make money?’ Probably not - but I’m holding on to them!

Okay here we go - get ready for some REAL comedy.

• How do you make a tissue dance?
  Put a little boogie in it.
• I’m gonna tell you a dad joke.
  About a dad that’s already dead.
  Oops.
  I’m sorry if I remind you of something.
  Ed: Let the reader know, this made absolutely no sense to me.
• Your dad is so stupid that he wrote in ‘the president’ during the last presidential elections.
• (After spilling milk, juice etc.) -’Pour effort!’

And the winner for the day!

Jen - your dad must be a complete comedian! He should get a gold star for this. If he ever says it out loud please give him a handshake for me.

(Whilst driving past a cemetery) - ‘Look kids! There’s the dead centre of town!’

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That’s right - I’m making a joke about ‘memories’ because forgetting things is funny when it’s on the topic ‘what is your first memory’, Get it? Get it? Oh man - that’s funny. My dad taught me that one.

So what’s your first memory? Would it be as early as this?

• relieving myself
  in my mothers womb
  rolling in poo
  in my first bedroom.

Let’s hope not! Because that is disgusting. I hope your mother’s womb wasn’t big enough to fit a bed in - because that would be a big bedroom!

Speaking of mothers - whoever had these kids should have had several heart attacks by the time they were teens I’m sure of it!

• I can remember, at three, my brother
  Without the knowledge of my mother
  Raising me up to unlatch the lock
  Then running down the block.
  
  (to editor: We lived in a city and we were trying to get to my aunt’s house, who always had candy for us. My brother picked me up, I unlocked the gate, and we ran out of the backyard and down the sidewalk. We got scared by a passerby and ran back home. When we told my mother this story as adults, she got so mad at us! I said to her, “it’s okay, we lived!”)

Here’s a new memory for you both - you didn’t win today’s competition. Sorry.

But instead of being rude to you all - I’m going to list below my favourite 11 entries out of 13 that weren’t the two above.

• On my first day at school, all was strange and all was new.
  Now I’ve finished studying and still don’t know what to do.
• i am always busy at brandise university working at the dish washing room in waltham ma
  sincerely, Ed: name removed
• I’m at a room
  Sorting out clothes
  My mom is in garment industry, you see
  I still kinda remember the smell..
• obscure tales about princesses in a tower,
  awaiting her prince in shining amour [sic]…
  omg give it up!
  men are mentally blinded to such subtle calls of desire…
• Crying as an exotic bird was put on my head so that me and my brothers could have a ‘Hawaii-style’ photo.
• What was the question again?
• my first memory
  was of a treasury
  with a scenery
  this is not plagiary [sic]
  it’s just planetary
• Having my nappy changed by my brother
• I was flying 10 inches from the ground,
  But leapt buildings and houses around;
  I awoke feeling so real,
  Though 4, I quite remember still.
• aged 2, maybe 3. Falling down our crazy-steep driveway. Moved soon after.
  Probably scarred for life, I suspect.

Notice how many awesome entries there were for the weekend? Just one - just one and that person was the winner. The winner’s name? Dee. Dee you are a genius (for today only as my whim will of course change - being whim and all).

I bought my first memory from PC World where I could get a refund if it failed.

The entry is almost too good to be deliberate. Dee please let us know if you did it deliberately or not! Either way you win, you win a great little dollar and an email too! I know, a real email.

Can you tell why Dee won? I’d love to hear your theories.

I couldn’t have picked a worse subject could I? 1990’s fashion was so ugly you couldn’t bring yourself to enter the competition could you? Well - I sure know how to do it well! All I got were these two entries…

White 10 hole Doc Martens.
I mean really, who didn’t think they were the coolest?

and

fashion in the 90’s,
consisted of floaties,
with scrunchies and light up shoes
who would have thought they were so not cool…

And you know what? They both win. You wait for 2 days, and you think ‘maybe two dollars will I get yes?’ No Yoda - you won’t sadly - because you are a fictional character (stay tuned for more hilarious antics on that joke - it’s really worth it).

Our winners today are both named. Most likely because their parents gave them one each. One is called Wing, the other DJ. I know a guy called Wing - he’s Chinese so I can’t say it’s a silly name. Wing is a cool guy. DJ however… Dj Dj Dj. *some joke about Full House here*.

Ever get the feeling your story/post isn’t going anywhere? I once received a handy tip on how to finish things off if you have no direction (it often happens to me).

And then I found fifty bucks!

…Enjoy your dollar guys!

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STOP! Your addiction has gone on long enough and hurt too many people. I have a three step step-thing to get you out of your misery and addiction and I think you ought to take my advice.

1. Admit to yourself that you have a problem.
2. Admit to someone else that you have a problem.
3. Come to OneDollarJackpot.com, play and forget about your silly worries - it’s not that bad after all.

This proven method has gotten many people out of tight situations - except those of you addicted to OneDollarJackpot.com - for that there is no cure.

Take those three steps above and see how wonderful your life would be if you applied them to these addictions:

• Oxygen! I think I’d die if I didn’t have it all day, everyday.
• Diet Coke. For serious. I tried to stop last week and I got headaches.
• Gambling addicts risk crippling debt,
  A happy junkie I’ve not met.
  But I’m addicted to the best thing yet,
  I just love the internet.
• The Almighty Dollar, speaking of which I need a fix now-one dollar should suffice… Ed: Yeah good luck next time!
• I am addicted to coffee.
• Truly, truly I couldn’t make
  It through the day without the stake
  Of online gaming, though just for fun
  Only tokens is all I’ve won Ed: You call a dollar a token amount? It’s gold! Pure gold I say!
• Checking snow webcams in summer - just in case!
• The internet. I own a dozen blogs in a year. In 1994 surfed using email to save time. ICQ has 7 digits. Online 5am - 1am.
• 25 words is certainly not enough for me,
  Video games, Pizza, movies, beer,
  sports, Internet, 1.D.J., and tv.
  Expensive habits, every Dollar counts.
• I’m addicted to GPT websites, particularly Treasure Trooper because that is my sole income right now.

You bunch of sorry sorry people. I feel for all of your pain. Except for the fourth one… you I don’t care about.

Now the winner has again come out of that group, you might agree with me - you might not. You might find my tone hard to pick - you might not. You might get punched in the face, again - you might not.

The best entry today - it surely is a desperate addiction. Sean you have serious issues, I want you to go and see someone about it. I’m not kidding.

Checking snow webcams in summer - just in case!

Congratulations on your first dollar with OneDollarJackpot - your 25 words or less (much less) were well worth it I’m sure.

Now get lost so I can go have my coffee!

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What is the deal with kids these days? They’re too mature and well behaved!

What do you want to be like when you’re old?

• Grumpy and cruel, so i could complain about everything and piss everybody off with cruel tricks
• Nice old lady.Cleaning done by a lass called Sady.

  Life will end by the gun- If I need a nurse to wipe my bum!!

• When I’m old I want to pretend I think I’m still hip. I’ll purposely misuse slang words and make everyone uncomfortable.
• I’d like to be a jetsetter, country-hop with a backpack, camera, and wallet; mountain hike, racer bike, swim the beaches. Enjoy till I die.
• Crotchety and creep people out. Use the excuse, “I’m old,” when I steal oranges from the grocery store.
• I’d like to be old,
  I’d like to be wise,
  I’d like to be kind
  and sound in my mind
• One who is able to look back on a life well lived and smile.
• If I should live to be old and gray
  That in itself would be okay
  Generous, compassionate, stable
  with money enough and food for table
• funky and hip and cool…of course to be that then….i have to have been that now….i guess im in trouble there
• Senile
• I want to be a cool and modern old person
  Woop woop woop!
• One that doesn’t cause strife at Vestry meetings!

Oh my what a list - a bunch of cranky old people you will surely not be. Some may be senile (why would you want to be?) some may be kind - others may misuse slang words (which I think is quite a good idea to start doing now actually).

Personally I’d like to be one of those old people who is wise enough and sound in mind to be asked for advice rather than to give it out willy nilly like people actually want it!

The person who wins today’s competition though gets a dollar for their time - and it probably was well worth spending that much time on a competition for a dollar. When you’re on your deathbed - be sure to say to your loved ones, ‘I wish I’d won that OneDollarJackpot.com just once more’.

The winner today? Tom! Your sweet is dude random!

When I’m old I want to pretend I think I’m still hip. I’ll purposely misuse slang words and make everyone uncomfortable.

I’d love to hear about your grandparents or old people! Come on down and tell us a story. We’re sure to listen really hard to your awesome story…